We started on this yesterday by looking at three important things.
1. Look for a helper
2. Look for a spiritual woman
3. Look for a beautiful woman.
Today, we are going to take a look at four more.
4. Look for a friend
It is important you look for a lady who is your friend. Friends don’t want to hurt one another. Friends love each other truly. Friends forgive each other easily. Friends want to be with one another. Friends don’t have problems with communication. They talk all the time. It is important that your love grows from friendship. That is why it is not good to rush into a relationship with a person you barely know. There is a huge difference between marrying an acquaintance and marrying a friend. It is even worse when you decide to marry a stranger that you met on the social media. You will not live on Facebook. You will not give birth on Google Plus. You will not cook on LinkedIn. So, why establish and maintain a relationship over social media? Why fall in love with a profile? Why become emotionally attached with a voice over the phone? You have to go for a friend and friendship involved constant communication and committed relationship. Before you fall in love, before you are caught in a rapturous ecstasy, try and see her one on one! It is impossible to fall in love with a person you don’t know, so become friends first and don’t be caught up in infatuation.
5. Look for a homely woman
The next thing to look for in a woman is homeliness. Look for a lady that can cook! Yes, she is not a house-help, but she has to know how to cook! Good food is every important to men.
As a single lady, train yourself to know how to cook well. If she cannot cook, there will be issues. If as a lady, you had grown up among several house-helps and you barely go to the kitchen, you have to deliberately teach yourself how to prepare good food in preparation for marriage. If you visit your fiancée and all you are served are always noodles, flakes, beverages and refreshments, you should start suspecting! That’s a joke!
As a wife, be creative about what you cook for your husband. Get on the Internet and download recipe ideas. If you can afford it, and both of you agree on it, you can hire a cook, especially when both spouses keep busy jobs.
6. Look for a teachable woman
The quality of meekness is one state of the heart that should not be compromised. Marry a teachable woman. You need a lady that is submissive. Submission is not subservience or servitude. It is just a cooperation to allow your husband have the final say. As a lady, never marry a man you detest or that you cannot defer to. In talking to women, Apostle Peter listed some qualities every woman should have and every man should look for.
When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your [a]reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him—to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband]. 1 Pet.3:2
Now, listen every carefully. You will not always find a perfect woman! You have to allow her to grow. You have to be patient.
7. Look for a woman you love and your heart blesses!
Marriage is by choice and not by force, so it is important you look for a lady you truly love and your heart blesses. Don’t marry out of pressure or suggestion. When you marry a woman you truly love, when there are crisis or challenges, the first statement from you won’t be, “I want a divorce,” rather it would be “how can I salvage this situation?” Why? Because you love her!
The scripture likened marriage to Jesus Christ and the church. If Jesus Christ is like the husband, and the church is like the wife, the question is “has the church, the wife of Jesus Christ been perfect?” The answer is No! How is Jesus Christ coping? How come Jesus has not divorced the church? The church is truly in a messy state and the body of Christ seemed divided and yet the scripture made a shocking statement that all husbands must learn from.
That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. (Ephesians 5:27 KJV)
How will Jesus achieve this for God’s sake? You see, because I am supposed to take a cue from Him since I am a husband or husband-to-be like Jesus Christ is the husband of the church.
Message Translation even made it more incredible.
Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor––since they're already "one" in marriage (Ephesians 5:26-28 Message)
I must look for a woman I truly love and I am comfortable that everything I do or say is designed to evoke her beauty and bring the best out of her!
Verse 27 tells us how Jesus Christ would achieve this.
That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. (Ephesians 5:27 KJV)
In marriage, I have to keep saying, praying and blessing my wife by saying the right things until I am able to present her back to myself as my helper. She may not be perfect at the beginning, but as a husband, I must patiently pray and bless her until we both grow into the fullness of what God has for us. That is how Jesus Christ is doing it and that is how we will do it. May God grant more understanding.
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